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On Becoming Love, Part 3 ~ Solving Your Solvable Problems

08/08/2018

We’ve all been there, right? Stress builds up, something triggers a reaction and it all comes out. Such was the case one dark and rainy night in Washington years ago. We’d moved there for a job change that wasn’t working out very well. Consequently, it was a stressful time in our lives. But, since we were still in the conflict avoider’s camp (see my last blog post here), we weren’t talking about the issues that were cropping up. I don’t remember what the last straw was for me before the

On Becoming Love, Part 2 ~ Solving Your Solvable Problems

07/24/2018

Our walk was quiet on that night long ago. He answered my questions with a terseness with which I was well familiar. I stopped trying to make conversation and the stony silence descended. I had hurt his feelings or made him angry somehow. There was no point in trying to talk about it. I knew I would get no response if I did. When we got home, I settled into my comfortable chair to read a bit. My heart ached as he walked by without a word and went to bed. One of the four horsemen of the

On Becoming Love

07/05/2018

I’m not sure how it started. I think we’ve always walked together. We went hiking countless times when we were dating—up Sabino Canyon to Hutch’s Pool, around Mt. Lemmon, Redington Pass, out in Tubac, Nogales, and all over Southern Arizona. We walked the streets and neighborhoods of downtown Riverside in the evenings when Brian would come to visit me my first year of graduate school there, both to explore and to get out of the heat of my little upstairs studio apartment with no AC. We walked